Blue sky, fluffy clouds and straw hat~

On a lighter and brighter note, I'll be going B.Garden for picnic with my girlies tomorrow! Some surprises have been planted! Let's have a great day tomorrow, and I do sincerely hope you people have fun time tomorrow! Maybe drop by to grab some free sandwiches from us. Hahahaha!

Mix-tape on repeat

Always love to see my girlies feeling happy, happier, happiest. Definitely love to see them being loved. Right now, there are one or two of them being in the novelty of love again. The adrenalin rush when they saw The Name on the phone screen ("So-so" is calling....), the butterflies when they met up with each other, the ohsolovely feelings when The Guys give them pleasant surprises, the harmless flirtatious texts, the care and concern showered all over them, the sparks when both eyes met... That's Love.

..or maybe not. Love is when you still want to be with that somebody when you saw the ugliest side of them without makeup, the smelliest breath from them in the morning, etc. Overlooking their imperfection is what you try to accommodate when love just sets in. Loving their imperfections is when love has matured and you know, He/She's the one.

I guess my two dearies are probably at the initial stage of love. The honeymoon period that is. That day I met up with nadnut, she's full of love. Haha! Can't be happier for her. Feel the joy, share the love. Apparently, she has found somebody who's beyond her standard of Mr. Perfect aka Macho Man. When she was talking to him on the phone, I could see that she's all excited and happy from within. Like I said, the most beautiful smile is not a set of pearlie white teeth, but a smile from within...

They say people in love are at their most beautiful stage, with the luminous glow and such. No wonder I look like a zombie. HAHAHA!

Okay, I am not all saint and probably a tad of sinner from within, like I want my girls to be happy, but I want to be happy too! Who doesn't? Haha Main point is, it sets me pondering after all the joy nadnut shared with me, that... when was the last time I actually smiled from within and feel the adrenalin sugar rush, rush, rush? When was the last time I smiled ear to ear to myself when I received a pleasant surprise? When was the last time I ...

Didn't want to be mean, but I knew I made a really screwed up mistake somewhere in 2009. A mistake due to my impulsion and stupidity. Kay, not really stupidity but ignorance. I trusted my feelings too much, but I was glad it's all over. I put a stop to it abruptly, and I know I was mean, but that was what I HAD TO do. Then again, it was this screwed up mistake that I realised something...

Something I was glad that I realised, but it was something that I shouldn't know and should prolly let the breeze takes it away... There are many things that I am unaware of, that explains why I always jump to his defense when somebody critisizes him. Who to blame? Nobody.

Perhaps it was the 4years chase-and-run game, and the fun-filled memories that is gaining control, covering up those awful days that I had experienced. I hate myself for being such a stm dudette. Only choose to remember the good things.

Maybe, that's life. You have to learn to let go of something/somebody even though it was the sweetest ol' memory. Checked, already stated it's left with nothing but the memory.

O' well, c'est la vie! We shall see what will happen next,
if it's meant to be yours, eventually it will be...

x

She's a cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers...

Sometimes I hate myself for holding on to the only hope which had ceased to exist since dinosaur years ago. Times and again I tried to recover, but when there was even the slightest hope that sparkles at the corner of my eyes, I'd just grab it without giving chances to let it slip away. But eventually I realized it was just a reflection of dust from the sunlight, never had been any hope... never.

The Only Exception

They always say life is unfair, shit is the middle name of life, but has it ever occurred to you that nobody but you are able to choose the way you live your life. Has it ever occurred to you that you're the creator of diss shit? haha! hokay, maybe I shouldn't be too harsh on you stalkers 'cos you might be facing some shit in life right now. I know how it feels. Been thru, done that. And now I am still strong and kicking! Hm, strange. This is not the purpose of me when I thought of posting a new entry tonight, but my fingers kept punching on the keyboard non-stop. How strange!

Bottomline: Everyone deserves to be happy. Living a day of sorrow or happiness is still a day passes by; wouldn't it be nicer to live life happily? ;)

ZOMBIFICATION Process had been terminated.

Guess who's back? Mehhmehh.

LET'S SCREAAAAAAAM:

THE INTENSIVE TESTS WEEK IS FINALLY OVERRR!

No more 3 hours of sleep each night, no more memorising of notes even before dawn breaks, no more waking up in the morning with nobody to talk to (but the notes; yuup, I talked to my notes. Any problem?), no more spamming of coffees and chicken essences + 2 half-boiled eggs in the morning, no more jolting out from bed because of nightmares (I tell you, I had a reaaaally gross nightmare yester-noon. IT WAS GROSS. I had to drop my notes and told my mom about it to feel better. Don't remind me of it.), no more writing and writing of notes on blank papers, no more looking zombified on the way to school anymore! I AM FREEEEE, for now! That's a good enough reason to SMILE and give myself ample rest, maybe hibernation mode is good.

Anyhow. I love all my beautiful girlfriends who are especially close to me. You know who you are. If I smile, laugh infront of you, automatically it makes you my good friends. If I burp, snort and fart infront of you, you're simply my best friends. So, start thinking back if you smelled my fart before. HAHA How come I am so gross.

Talking about smells, us girls were looking and smelling like greasy oil blotters right after we stepped foot out from the steamboat house. VERY, VERY GROSS. Initially it was only from JY's hair, but eventually we realised we're all on the same buttery oil-soaked boat. Stinky socks.

On a darker note, I think I am dying or something bad is going to happen. :( It has been ongoing for several days that I am getting cuts out of nowhere, no reason. I just got a tiny slit at the ring fingertip suddenly. How strange! Better keep myself in safe room these few days, then again, I have awesome dates planned with awesome people on different awesome days. Can't wait!

I am really good in jumping topics...

Just a month or two ago, I had some really taxing problems. But they were kinda solved and gone (I hope). Just two weeks ago I had a really, really disappointing moment for days which affected me terribly. So bad that I almost suffocated myself with those whatnot and I thought I couldn't survive through this intensive zombification week (5papers 5days system) with the awful news broke to me like I had a label on me which reads "Made of Metal". Eventually I did (because I will survive) and here I am, but am definitely not confident in scoring most of the papers. Oh well, cannot be undone. We shall see then. I guess what I really need now is but a longggg good night sleep.

Till then, folks..er, i mean stalkers. Hahaha!

My Life in Short.

Cutsy Lunch > Unlimited ice cream > Cathay > Starbucks > Windy > Good ambiance > Dhoby Gout > L4D 2 > 0oo00o0oo > aka annoying gamer > shot to death > Call to vote > kicked! > Starbucks > Construction notes > Muffins > Cravings > Tau Hway > Rochor > Taxi > "Unhailable" > Roundabout > 3 Tau Hway > 1 youtiao > free riders > home sweet home > mama's soup > side dishes > late dinner > a.k.a supper > fattening > i-dun-give-a-damn > tutorials > projects > relieved > good accomplishment > good companions > forgive > and > forget > hit the sack.

Blackout.

Am a screwed up train-wreck needing nobody's words now. FML

K, Joanne. Shut up and get going.

The End.

When you're already happy with your current state,
why should I still clinging on to the past so tightly?

But the pain I feel it won't go away...

You don't even give a hook, I assume.

What's the point when there's no longer a reason I could smile when I think of you.

"...."

How it kills the glimmer of hopes with a blunt dagger stabbing right through the most vulnerable spot? Years of hope, eventually it boils down to nothing but sparkling dusts swept down into the gutter...What's worse is, Trial and Errors to find That Feelings was what I'd been searching for over the period, only to realize everything is too late; too late for everything. No matter how fresh those memories were to me, those had already been put to an end in the previous chapter of your walk in life. You found me her.



What hurts the most is not that you've moved on; but you are so protective of her and she had already taken the position I used to be...

till i can't find you anymore.

"everyone knows that goodbyes aren’t easy. so i’m not going to say bye, i’m going to say thanks for all the times you made me smile, for the times you took the effort to make me feel loved. for the nights you made me smile when i felt that my world was falling apart. for holding my hand and holding it so tight. for the nights i never wanted to end because i didn’t want you to let go. for showing me i’m stronger than i ever thought i was. in telling me i’m beautiful. telling me that you never want me to leave and that i never want to. for listening to all my rantings and telling me it was going to be okay, i believe it will be.

i just want the world to slow down. no, i want the world to stop. right now. how can time just let things fall apart. because for me, things fall apart and they never know how to be put back together. things will never be put back together. no matter how hard i try, i know i’m going to lose you. you’re one star in a sky of a thousand but you’re the brightest one and i know eventually you’ll fade. you’ll fade until i can’t find you anymore.."

Everyone has a love that they can't forget.

For me, it was him. I wasn’t going to sit there and quote poetry, or even doodle his name in hearts on all my papers. I simply accepted that things could not be and moved on. But there is always a constant wonder in the back of my mind that wonders if he ever thinks of me like I think of him.

"...somebody who used to be your somebody has becomes somebody's somebody."

-Bitter Heart